Interrupting Oscar stuff

To post a link to a NY Times article on the fat kid singing that I posted here a few weeks ago...here it is.

eww

I hate Beyonce's green eye shadow. And the dress is too busy for this French song with the American Boys Choir. She looks like she's going to a party in Miami. Needs something more conservative. God, those close ups of her face as she's singing make her look a little deranged. Has she had a face lift?

Oscars - Pre-show

Chris Connolly - I love you - send your son to Duke. Forget the other places he's applied - send him to Duke.
Hilary Swank - what's up with the schoolmarm look?
Annette Bening -if Warren gets old Hollywood to vote, you'll win. On another note, I heard that many people in Hollywood allegedly think that she's really scary ugly.
Ohh.. Jamie Foxx, you brought your daughter. That makes me like you a little bit more, but overall, you're still getting on my nerves.
Jake Gyllenhaal, even with the buzz cut, you're still superhot
Halle Berry - still over-rated. you did not deserve that Oscar. Barf. How many times do we have to see this clip of Halle Berry? Look, it's great to have diversity among Oscar winners, but she DID NOT deserve to win for Monster's Ball. AT ALL.
Renee Zellweger - what's up with that hairdo? Your bangs are gross! Like the dress, though
Someone please retire Billy Bush.
Leonardo DiCaprio - you're creeping me out a little bit. I can't explain it, but this whole push for an Oscar is sort of creeping me out.
Lauara Linney really is quite pretty. Likin the dress. Hatin the hair
Yo - Virginia Madsen is lookin hot! I love that dress - by far my favorite so far- Comment from Mo: What is up with bangs this year?
Chris Connolly - j'adore - more you and less billy bush. Can't wait for connolly to get back to NYC to give us the scoop on what went on out behind-the-scenes there.
Normally, I don't think Kirsten Dunst is that cute, but she looks good tonight. Love the dress and loved the haircut. THink i might get mine done.
God, Cate Blanchett - I love you and generally love your outfits, but you're too yellow tonight. I take that back - I actually really like her dress- after seeing it when she delivers the make-up award, I'm a fan. Still maybe a little too yellow, though.
Don Cheadle - I love you. I hate the fact that you're 'married.' You've gotta win - or Johnny Depp - I'd be happy with him.. You're just the coolest motherfucker around. I love you, I just simply love you.
Clive Owen is hot, too, but he's a little too hairy. Saw "Closer" and I think I remember that he has a pretty thick sweater under that tux. gross.
** Did anyone else notice that one of the girls in the Oil of Olay commercial played the bitch carpenter that Jennifer Beals had an affair with on "The L-Word." I can't see that girl without thinking about how she ruined tv's perfect little lesbian couple. I can't believe she invaded my Oscars night.
Penelope Cruz looks gorgeous, as always, but she ties Jennifer Garner as the most over-rated, boring actress in Hollywood.
Seriously - I ask again, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SEE THE HALLE BERRY CRYING CLIP? Can't we retire it?

Thank you, Bob

For letting me revisit my high school days in this post, although I've gotta say, you're wrong about the girls. My friends and I absolutely had the same rules for riding shotgun - god, I HATED getting out of the car at our destination only to immediately hear Sara Freedman go "Gun!" and know that I had lost it for the ride to the next place. She was quick - got so maaad when she didn't get gun. (side note: she also originated, "Ok, are you ready to J-E-T, jet?" and genuinely believed that she was the 'B-O-M-B, bomb, bitch.' No - you really can't write any more generic teen phrases and god, I love that girl).

This was when we rode in my friend, Sarah Tackett's, Jeep and I hated having to squish into the back with no windguard, your hair flying all over the place, not even being able to hear the radio that they were playing in the front seat. I could put up with it if I was riding past all the horse farms on the way to the Spindletop pool or something, but not on a Friday night going over to Brad's house. You looked insanely windblown after the 5 minute ride - like you'd been hit by lightening by the time you got to the party.

Ok, well, yes (and I admit the lameness), the part of me that enjoyed pretending I was in a bad '80s movie like "Teen Wolf" or "Fast Times" - all the senior girls, riding in a Jeep and arriving late to the party- over-rode the windblown annoyance, because even though I was windblown, I could still be like, I came in the brand-new Jeep. The stares that a car-full of high school chicks got in that thing was ridiculous. (I, on the other hand, had a 1989 brown Oldsmobile station wagon - a gift from my mom - but also an endearing car that became known, ironically, as the "Shaggin Wagon" - in those days, I used more discretion with my smoochers - until it died on me).

And absolutely - bitch was the worst. No one wanted bitch - except now, as Bob says, in nyc cabs. Everyone in the backseat gets to choose where you're going next while the person up with the driver is stuck having to smell his B.O. Again, i can put up with these instances when I'm drunk and start talking about my relationships or making stuff up to try to ensure a free or discounted ride (it's my bachelorette party works about 60% of the time - but the key is elaborate, elaborate, elaborate - the more grandiose, the better), but definitely not when sober.

Hunter's Last Hours

From the moment I heard Hunter killed himself, all I could think was 'Jesus.' Here's an account of his last hours in an interview with his wife.

I'm completely fascinated by Edie Sedgwick and have read and re-read "Edie: American Girl" at least 3 times. I've got my fingers crossed on Sienna Miller playing her - I wasn't that impressed with the trailer I saw of her in "Alfie," (waiting til it's on HBO to see the movie-yeah right I was paying $10.25 at the box office), but Sienna's got the whole cool, bohemian vibe going on and I always envy her outfits, so I'm going to remain optimistic for now.

Heidi and Seal (once again, my favorite couple): shopping for rings.

Why are celebrities the most prone to cults?:

File Under Duh.

Alright, so I was doing other things tonight and didn't get to see the behind-the-scenes J.Ho MTV Fashion Special. Color me a very original blue - I was really looking forward to see her work her creativity. I saw a clip on Access Hollywood of one of her minions sucking up to her - it would've been fun to see a whole hour of that and make fun of how she actually believes their crap, but don't fear, I'm sure MTV will rerun at least thrice this weekend. And uh, did you know that she now seems to be referring to herself as the "First Lady of Screen, Song, and Style?"
Sounds suspiciously like Michael Jackson referring to himself as "The King of Pop." He only started that shit in around 1992 once his star started falling...and we all know how well that moniker resusicated his career....

How much do I love this Roger Friedman column about the mismanagement of J. Ho's career?
*(the bottom includes a mention of my hometown boy's band, Scissor Sisters, playing at Elton John's Oscars party -hells yeah, Kentucky!)

As part of the official media attack in the next week or so, we're gonna learn that:
J. Ho is officially J.Ant, Janthony, Chihuaha's wife, Evil Stepmother, call her whatever you want as long as it reflects that she's now Mrs. Marc Anthony. AND, on top of that shocker, (if you want to sit down), she's hoping for a baby.
UPDATE: There's a new little ho in the oven. Hopez, sneaky little devil, IS pregnant. Just in time to talk about while on her 'Rebirth' blitz. Ewww. She and Marc are gonna have ugly little babies. Short, too.


Becks and Beyonce joined forces with her (what the hell were they thinking?) for the Europe Pepsi commercial. The launch was yesterday. J. Ho appears to be wearing a dress of her own design. You can tell by the tacky fur trim on an otherwise pretty stylish, yet slutty outfit. The fur border really completes the high-class Jersey whore look, though. And I know that Becks is a busy new dad, but surely he can afford some pants that fit.

Okay, I just wanted to post three different pictures. Mos Def is hot. Was supposed to go see him a few weeks ago, but then had to cancel at the last minute because I was sick. Lamest thing ever - so mad at myself. Look at him and listen - he just rocks.

Second, I saw these pix on Getty today - two blasts from my past. Daisy Fuentes really appears to have grown, while Ricci has shrunk...again. I need to do that - really annoyed that I haven't been taking care of myself the last couple of weeks. I should probably get back on the drugs.

Going too far

In an investigation conducted secretly for months, the Kansas attorney general is demanding that clinics turn over the complete medical records of nearly 90 women and girls who had abortions.

I've been dropping stupid hints for weeks

So - the two 'newsmaking' pieces aired tonight: Michael Lohan & Naomi Campbell



And this has been all over the place today, but I LOVE it and didn't get a chance to say anything til now. The Simpson gals are allegedly cokeheads, (scroll to 3/4 of way down) says Li.Lo and it certainly takes one to know one. And believe me, I've done entirely enough research on Lindsay Lohan's lifestyle to last a lifetime. The gal knows of what she allegedly speaks (or emails as the case may be).

* On a separate note, I feel a little 6 degrees of separation - someone I know is listed on one of the hacked into sites, so of course I had to email him today and be all, you're famous! You're part of the newer, larger Paris Scandalgate 2005 Version! And then immediately, I was all, has anyone emailed you and he was like, no, not really and I felt bad for him for being a neglected part la scandale, ya know. He's just not in the same league as fred durst or mark philapoussis, poor guy. (I'd link to it, but the link's been taken down now, of course)...

Sigh

x17 agency

I hate the fact that I'm even posting this because I think Jen Garner is soooo insanely damn boring, but, well, it's a picture of her and Ben leaving a wedding registry store. And that type of Hollywood buzz can't go unnoticed. Despite the fact that don't they look like the most uninteresting couple ever?

She is still MADONNA

Look, she was the first major rock star of my life (besides Whitney Houston - because really, who didn't like "Greatest Love of All" or "I Wanna Dance with Somebody?") and even if she looks a little geriatric here, she's still Madonna. It's a bad shot. We all have them. I have lots. No, I'm not crazy about the whole Kabbalah cult thing that she's got going on, but she'll snap out of that calm shit once Lourdes becomes a teenager -but at the end of the day, she's still Madonna and you R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Shock and Awe - NOOOO!

'PROJECT Runway" may get snipped from Bravo's lineup, despite becoming a hit this season.

The second season of the popular cable show — which follows a group of designers competing for a big-bucks contract to produce a line of apparel — is in jeopardy because of the expected split between Miramax, the studio that produces it, and Disney.



Tonight is the grand finale. JAY, JAY, JAY!!!! He's my little gay Varmus. There is just no way in hell that nutjob Wendy can win. I'll never shop at Banana again in protest. Well, not that I really do in the first place, but I'll make a point of it. It's already tainted for me for now because I think of Cruella Wendy every time I walk by and how she won their showdown over the simple black dress.

Because don't we all love a hot piece of ass?

Who cares about a good plot when there's Ethan Hawke's booty to drool over? That, and the fact that I've been in love with Parker Posey since I was 15 years old and saw "Dazed & Confused" for the first time, are of course the true incentives to see 'Hurlyburly.' Obvs. I mean "The Blue Room" was an enormous success thanks to the nude Nicole Kidman. You think New York theata-goers really care about story development? Orly says it best:

NY Post:
ASIDE from the rave reviews and A-list cast, one thing really motivated 24-year-old Lindsay Moore to drop $50 on a ticket for the off-Broadway hit "Hurlyburly." "Ethan Hawke's butt," says Moore, "was a big selling point. I was very impressed by it." "Ethan Hawke, in his boxer shorts, five inches in front of me!" gushes Orly Trieber, 26, who says she's been to the theater "less than five times in my life."

Um...Adam, if you're reading this - wasn't there a connection between Ethan and me you'd mentioned once....you know what I'm talking about.

I'll Tumble 4 You

My BFF is nothing if not a survivor - she talks to Diane Sawyer about her coke addiction, her 'we're just friends, I talked to him last night' with Usher, and her love of Culture Club. We bonded in the bathroom a few months ago - Usher was standing outside the door, waiting for her. I have lots of guy friends, but none of them ever waits for me outside the restroom, do ya, Nathan...I mean, they're definitely not together now, but in October -uh, yeah...

L. Lo won't be happy, but her dad talks for the first time extensively -also on tomorrow night's Primetime. Seriously, who needs Entertainment Tonight when there's Primetime?

In other news, Blink-182 is over? That's a bummer - I always sort of liked them.

Yay!

Scissor Sisters on the Tonight Show, Monday, February 28th. I'd be happier if it were David Letterman, but eh, beggers can't be choosers.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Administration officials versus Congress in the battle over Medicare coverage of erectile drugs. I'm paying insane taxes from my meager little paycheck so Bill Gates need not worry about Viagra when he retires.

HELP

This is my last option. I'm in desperate need of Lindsay Lohan headshots, print ads, etc... between the ages of 3 and 10. She started modeling in 1989 and did Calvin Klein Kids print ads, JELLO commercials with Cosby, Wendy's, Pizza Hut, Gap, etc. If you have anything like this, or can help me find it, please let me know. It's driving me crazy - I'm wasting too many brain cells on this.

Addendum: I also need the Culture Club video for "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" Ebay and Culture Club/Boy George websites have been combed, as has amazon, Barnes & Noble, and almost all of the indie or gay video stores in downtown nyc. I swear I'm not a gay man.

It better be in the mail

I've got a new favorite t-shirt.

Maybe it's just me, but I think the whole lines-til-dawn-too-much-partying-hooking-up-with- Johnny Knoxville-dad-almost-killing-himself thing has really aged our Linds. Her face is all bony and rough looking and her eyes are dead. Girl doesn't look good - plus, her hair looks purple. I had to screen through 'The Parent Trap' and 'Mean Girls' today and she really is/was a cute girl. As much as I'm all about drama because somebody's got to fill the pages of Us Weekly, I actually hope she gets it together.

wireimage photo

This woman has her own clothing line. She's got tentacles growing from her stomach and they still gave her the final show at Fashion Week. J. Ho's starting to remind me of the high school mom - with the boob job, the Juicy track pants, the pastel Uggs -who tries too hard to fit in - think Amy Poehler in "Mean Girls." And you're all just embarrassed for her (although that doesn't mean you won't use her house as the place to crash whenever there's a big party senior year on a Saturday night because God knows, your parents aren't gonna let you come in at 3 in the morning with the smell of cheap Nat Light & Trident gum on your breath).

L-Word

Yes, the L-Word was great. Jennifer Beals is going to have a complete meltdown this season. I could get into a lengthy monologue on all the reasons why I love The L-Word, but it's late, I just got home, I had a random encounter with an ex-boyfriend and his family on my way home, and I need to sleep. My one suggestion is just let Jenny make up her mind already - she's gay. And please feed her - she's too skinny to be sexy. And they should bring in a hot Southern debutante to tame Shane. If need be, I'd volunteer. Is the show a realistic portrayal of LA lesbians? Probably as much as 'Desperate Housewives' is of suburban moms, 'Melrose Place' was of LA twenty-somethings, or '90210' was of Beverly Hills teenagers. But isn't that why we love our soaps? Beautiful people, great clothes, hot sex.

Hunter Thompson

The Aspen Daily News is reporting that gonzo journalist (and Kentucky native) Hunter Thompson is dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in Aspen.




By Troy HooperAspen Daily News
Woody Creek — Hunter S. Thompson died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound at his home in Woody Creek on Sunday night. He was 67. Regarded as one of the most legendary writers of the 20th Century, Thompson is best known for the 1972 classic "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." He is also credited with pioneering gonzo journalism -- a style of writing that breaks tradition rules of news reporting and is purposefully slanted. Pitkin County Sheriff Bob Braudis, who is a close personal friend of Thompson, confirmed the death. His son, Juan, found him Sunday evening. “On Feb. 20, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson took his life with a gunshot to the head at his fortified compound in Woody Creek, Colorado.

The Holy Grail

While the mainstream media is buzzing about Bush's secret recordings, those of us on the Internet today are all about the Paris Sidekick theft. I love it when people mess with that girl.

For those of us who care about celebrity gossip, we hit the goldmine. I spent part of my afternoon calling all her cell phone numbers: Pharrell (crush), Christina Aguilera, Ashley Olsen, Andy Roddick, Anna Kournikova, David LaChappelle, Avril Lavigne, L'il Jon, Luke Wilson, Vin Diesel Mark Phillapoussis, Jay-Z (?), Bijou Phillips, Adam Levine, and my girl of the moment, Lindsay Lohan. By the time I got to them, most of the numbers were already disconnected - alas - with the major exception of Mama Lohan.

But can I just say - seriously, Paris, who walks around with X-rated pictures on their cell phone?

For camera phone pix, go here.
For phone numbers of celebrities, their various associates and hangers-on, and Southwest Airlines, go here.
Finally, click here to see Paris' various reminders to herself:

I'm actually curious to see if Lloyd Grove covers this Paris mess or not. It was pretty disasterous day for all these other celebs, ya know...just a few days ago, I said that I couldn't take any more of that girl, but then this shit happens and I'm jumping for joy because it's so salacious.

UPDATE: Paris' girlfriend in the pix appears to be Eglantina Zing, another big fat publicity whore.

It's February in New York

And I need a tan. I'm sick of being white and pasty. And I'm too poor to sign up for a tanning session.

A Life Fantastical

Okay - I know I'm not the only person who thinks like this - there are some celebrities who I'm like, you and I could be such great friends (Beyonce, Kate Hudson). Or you and I would be such good lovers (Joaquin Phoenix), we should just get married and have babies (Ben Harper). I seriously sometimes really convince myself that they would want to be my friend, hang out, and smoke with me, for instance (Brad Pitt). Anyway, add Petra Nemcova (tsunami-injured model) to my 'we could be best friends' list. Could happen, right, except for the fact that supermodels usually hang out with other supermodels, huh? (does hooking up with a male one -not Zoolander in my younger, thinner years put me on their C-list?) (I'll answer that question: no. It just makes me a lame B-list starfucker. There's an emphasis on my younger, thinner, (dumber) years in that last sentence).

Anyway, I now have a total girl crush on Petra. I think we would make great best buds. Girl crushes are fun.

Old Habits Die Hard, you know

So, while Lindsay Lohan makes repeat hospital visits, her pops, Michael, is making his repeat jail/court appearances. Last night, he got a DUI - drunkenly drove into a utility pole, got out, went back into the car to retrieve some things, and was pulled out just before the car went up in flames.

And he's gonna be in jail for a good while - bail was set today at $20,000. If he's suing Dina (and Linds) for their money, it's a good bet he doesn't have the cash. Even his lawyer's getting sick of it - supposedly, he wasn't even at the arraignment today. Next hearing's on Wednesday, for those of you really following this.

Don't forget - The L-Word's season premiere is this Sunday - Showtime- 10pm.
Drea de Matteo (Adriana) will probably be watching.

Quick Bites

Madonna's next album is gonna show off her guitar 'skills.' I don't know - I went to the last concert and I liked the dancing stuff best.

Paris is 'too tired' to party. And really, I'm too tired of her to care.

An homage to one half of my favorite couple in the world: Heidi Klum and Seal. Like I've said before, I freaking love "Project Runway." (and so does my straight male roomie). It rocks. And Jay so totally won. I told people we should look into a story on her, Tyra Banks, Cindy Crawford, the whole supermodel with the actual career post- modeling, and what is the reaction(?)-let's put it this way- a look at people with anger
management issues says enough.

Nic Cage & wife (isn't she like 18?) expecting baby.

P.Diddy sued for not writing book.

I wanna read this story:
THE NEW YORK OBSERVER will report tomorrow: 'Former 60 Minutes Wednesday executive editor Josh Howard has told colleagues that before he resigns, the 23-year CBS News veteran will demand that the network retract remarks by CBS president Leslie Moonves, correct its official story line and ultimately clear his name'... In the event of a lawsuit, Mr. Howard has told associates that he would like to see Moonves put under oath to talk about his own roles in the network's stubborn, hapless defense of the flawed segment on President Bush's National Guard service.Howard has also indicated to colleagues that he would subpoena specific CBS documents, including the e-mails of top executives.'

Finally, I know it's not PC to say this, but how many 'celeb-studded' tsunami benefits can there possibly be? Do we even have that many celebrities in Hollywood? Should I hold out for the big "Surreal Life" benefit album to come out?

Random

I just want to share - I got this message in friendster today from a slightly random friendster. I mean, we're friendly, I guess, but we haven't really spoken in about 4 years and to be completely honest, I'm not sure that we spoke more than 10 sentences in the 3 years we went to school together before that. It was one of those friendster approvals where you're like, okay, maybe I'm forgetting some part of our friendship, but why not - maybe we'll realize that we should've been better friends, or at the very least, I'm getting another 'ster.' Anyway, like I said, I got this message, but I can't tell if it was actually to me, or if it was one of those multiple messages that you can send to all of your friendsters. I'm not replying because really, of course it was a slyly written, yet still generic mass message. And yet, at the same time, I'm a little like, how could he write 'hey hot stuff' to more than one of us. I mean, c'mon, isn't there only one 'hot stuff?' I'm just pointing out a potential problem here with the multiple message option on friendster. It could be abused, ya know.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Message:
hey there hot stuff....hope you're having a fabulous weekend.i'm out in ithaca, ny at cornell visiting my sister. she's a freshman here. can't believe my little baby sister is in college! makes me feel so old.....big plans for hearts day tomorrow? hope it is filled with lots of love.i'm in connecticut for another week and then head down to florida for two months of dive school. fun fun!hope all is well.

Look at the size of her arms!

I shouldn't be such a girl, but oh my god, Nicole Richie has whittled into nothing. I know, I know - it was all over Howard Stern last week - JAW DROP, she's 97 pounds - but geez, that bracelet she's got on really exaggerates it. Could I even fit that over my wrist? Someone throw her a Krispy Kreme. Seriously. I want a bracelet to go over my bicep, too, but I also don't want someone to breathe and knock me over.

My fascination with J.T.

I've been fascinated by J.T. LeRoy for a couple of years - ever since I read Sarah. It's the Appalachian setting that I sort-of recognize from just growing up in Kentucky, it's LeRoy's own backstory, it's the bizarre raccoon penis-bone amulet. It's his whole look that morphed from this:
to this -weirder and weirder with the whole almost '80's culture club thing:


You just want to try to figure out what's going on in that crazy/creative/cool mind. So anyway - these last two pics are of him and Asia Argento at her directorial debut yesterday of his "The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things." He's just so bizarre..but then, so is she.

Demi & Ashton

As a couple as well as individually, these two haven't interested me since 2003, but well, they might get married today, so congrats to them, I guess.

This is REALLY a Headline??

Drudge - are you kidding me? We should be shocked by Rock's statements that only gays watch the Oscars? ooooh...keep me posted on the developments of this one...

It Breaks My Heart

Ok, I'm going to send you guys on a trip down my memory lane. Every time I see Ben Harper and Laura Dern on the red carpet or photos of them (and pictures of her kissing him in particular), they literally make me a little sick to my stomach.

Five years ago, I was in fall of my senior year at Duke. I go to see Ben Harper at this club in Raleigh called The Ritz. Now mind you, I'd been a fan of Ben Harper for at least 4-5 years prior to that (like 1996 or something). Before this engagement, I'd seen him live at least 4 times. I loved him - adored him, worshiped him, wanted him. I told all my friends that I would happily be Ben Harper's groupie and have his babies.

On the night in question, I go see Ben. At one point, he begins playing "Steal My Kisses." I liked that song, but it was a little more commercial, not my favorite, and I thought it would be a good bathroom break. I go to the bathroom, come out, and start talking to the girl selling t-shirts. I had a little buzz going, was short on cash, and figured, why not, so I tell her that it's my upteenth Ben show, that I'm a huge fan, and can I get a free t-shirt (side note: I"m a sucker for anything that gets me a free t-shirt). The girl tells me, "Honey, I can do better than that - we've got the party after this, you're totally Ben's type (he loves blondes), why don't you come to the afterparty?"

I'm "of course, are you shitting me?! I'm there." She tells me to come back in like 15 minutes, closer to the end of the show, and we'll figure it out. So - I go back to my friends - all guys- and tell them what just happened. They're all, KettyKet, what about us, can we go too? I'm all, oh shit. This is going to be an issue. Please - they have to be able to come - at the very least, they're my ride back the 45 minutes to Durham and I don't have enough cash to stay here myself and take a cab back to our little city....so, 15 minutes later, I head back to the t-shirt gal, she gives me my pass and tells me to stick around with her, that she'll give me a ride to the party with the gang. When I ask about my friends and tell her it's all guys, she's like, uh, sorry, I don't think that'd work.

So - I'm in a quandry - what to do, what to do....what do you think I did? My stupid, loyal ass decided to stick with my friends, head back to a party in Durham, and give up what could have been the start of something special with Mr. Harper. I'm nothing if not a dumb, loyal friend, huh? Literally like 6 months after that, I read that Ben was getting together with Laura Dern - who, if not my identical twin, looks, at the very least, like she could be my first cousin (well, at least in terms of the blonde hair)....

So - I literally gave up my chance to have the Ben Harper babies that I'd talked about having for years, and now, to bring the story full circle, I get a little nauseous every time I see Laura and Ben together, or hear about the babies she's giving him....it just hurts. Would something have happened between us on that special night (ha)- who knows - but there's that nagging question I'll now have for the rest of my life...what if? (sigh)

But then again, what if instead of becoming Mrs. Harper (like Laura Dern has done), it had started me on the path of a professional like Karrine Steffans? Usher, Jay-Z, Chris Rock...and a $7.3 million book and movie deal...

Telenovela - Grammy Style

So - the Grammys marked the first public performance by my favorite Mr. and Mrs. and oh, they didn't disappoint. Marc made sure it was done up just as he would want it - in full, over-the-top Latin soap opera style. Seriously - what was up with their little Broadway production via San Juan? I have no clue what they were rambling about, but tried to put it together through J. Ho and Marc's typical subtle acting performances. All I got was that it was sad and she wore lots of fur and bling and combed her hair in a mirror and then they went out for a night on the town. hmmm. My roomies and I had a fun little drinking game going on for every time J. Ho missed a note and I was easily able to finish my Heineken within the first minute. For their curtain call, I was a little afraid we might have to see chihuahua-man kiss the evil stepmother, but thankfully, they just walked off-stage.

Marc: "Please honey, please hit the note. I'll buy you a new fur-whatever, just hit the damn note this time."

X-Tina Engaged...finally

Officially completing her transformation from drrrty teen queen to sophisticated pop icon, Christina Aguilera follows Brit-Brit and gets engaged to longtime boyf, Jordan Bratman. Not surprising as L. Lo and Paris have overshadowed her in the tacky party gal competition for the last year. Jordan's not as hot as K-Fed, but at least Christina didn't have to buy her own ring.


photos courtesy x17 agency

"As I saw those items, all I saw was a J.C. Penney rack"

Ahhh....music to my ears. J. Ho apparently fell on her much celebrated booty last night with her collection.



Looks like the looks below led the Seventeen editor to make her right-on Penney's comment:



Otherwise, J. Ho blatantly ripped off looks that she's worn herself from other designers. Naomi's dress here:

is similar, but much less refined than the Vera Wang J. Ho wore in 2001

This J. Ho original is almost identical to an outfit she wore to the 2004 fall fashion shows.


Marc - please get this woman pregnant so she'll stay off our front pages, too busy to 'design' looks like these. Take her away chihuahua-man!

A Health Message

So, like most of you, I became cognizant of the outside world in the mid to late 1980s/early 1990s - when HIV and AIDS dominated the headlines. Pieces like "Angels in America" and "And the Band Played On" described the devastation through art. Deaths of artists like Keith Haring, athletes like Arthur Ashe, and kids my age like Ryan White made it vivid to mainstream America - as did the fact that the disease quickly spread from the coasts to every state in the country. Magic Johnson got HIV and everyone assumed that he would die soon...but he didn't as medical advances were made. As he remained healthy enough to play in the Olympics, news about HIV/AIDS was pushed to the back pages of the newspaper. I don't think my younger brother and sisters (only 5 years younger) grew up fearing it as a devastating plague in the same way that I did. The urgency was gone and a generation became complacent.

That's why to me - and to all of you - yesterday's news that a new, rare strain of HIV has been detected should be alarming. Yes, it's confined to one gay man for now, but we all know how that story ends.

Fat Dutch Kid Goes Solo - Hilarious

Please go here and turn up the volume - I don't know if this has been around for awhile, but I promise you won't be disappointed - a fat Dutch kid sings a pretty catchy little tune right into his computer - I'd be lying if I said I didn't start bobbing my head along for a bit...

Alicia, Beyonce, and the Queen?

Ok, so we know that Alicia Keys has been on a path to glamorize her image and get rid of the whole lesbian label for the past year - making sweeping videos with love story themes with Mos Def and Usher - and showing up all diva-fied on the red carpet and onstage. So - good for her if this plan has finally panned out in a movie role with Beyonce in "Dreamgirls." I posted about this a few weeks ago and wasn't sure about it, but if it's got the three of them, yeah, I'd watch it.

Alicia's Recent Looks:

photos from AP


On a related note, these photos of Beyonce's booty are making their way around the web...so I felt like I had to post, too...

Congrats, Scissor Sisters

Photo courtesy Associated Press

So...congrats to Mark's brother's band for their 3 big wins at the Brit Music Awards- you might've heard of them...but only if you read blogs, are a hipster, live in Europe, or are from their hometown. The U.S. hasn't caught on to them - yet. I remember Scott (Babydaddy) playing in his jr. high band for our school's 9th grade talent show years and years ago....and honestly, it was one of those things where we were like, okay, cool, but no one's gonna make it and be in a band for the rest of their life. I mean, we're from Kentucky...but, I'm eating those thoughts now. Seriously -I'm psyched for all the Hoffmans. And good luck to Scott & the rest of Scissor Sisters at the Grammys.

All I have to say about this is that that's my BFF last night hanging out withTyson. What a small world. It's probably best my friend handled this part of the day rather than me - might've been awkward considering Tyson and I once made out and all... Wonder if Naomi gave Tyson one of those Chip + Pepper "Naomi Hit Me and I Loved It" t-shirts that she's so crazy about?

To be included in the next Duke prospectus...

photo from AFP

I feel like I've been a little MIA this week - my mind's been in another place with work stuff, but I had to put out this picture Nathan sent me, especially after Wednesday's bball game. My boy Snoop hates Carolina, too.

I heart Don Cheadle

As part of my continuing Don Cheadle coverage, I felt it necessary to direct you to his original report for Nightline. Hopefully, you were able to watch last night...

A Second Chance

I love how J. Ho has a microphone on during her appearance on Top of the Pops on January 29 even though we all know she's a bigger lip syncer and plagiarizer than Ashlee. And I had to post this ridiculous photo of her wearing the quilt that my great-grandmother crocheted in 1974. Why the new J. Ho posts? Because her esteemed appearance on Actors Studio will be re-run this Sunday at 5pm on Bravo. I missed the thespian's advice the last time this episode ran, so I'll have to be sure to catch it this weekend...I mean, if Lipton's a big fan of the triple-threat entertainer, I probably should give her a chance...

Plug for Great Film

My friend and former co-worker, Barbara, recently produced an award-winning documentary with Albert Maysles called IN GOOD CONSCIENCE:Sister Jeannine Gramick's Journey of Faith. The story focuses on Sister Jeannine Gramick, an American nun, and her groundbreaking and compassionate ministery to gay and lesbian Catholics. There are several screenings coming up in New York and LA. Please - if you get the chance, go see this doc. (plus, at the risk of sounding like Bob, I deserve some credit because I did like two fact checks for her last year...)

Variety: "Absorbing...excellent...enormous charm"
TimeOut NY: "This gripping documentary is a must-see"
Barbara Kopple: "A masterpiece."

NYC - February 22 at 6:30pm - The New School
March 9 at 7:oopm - Two Boots Pioneer Theater
LA - March 14 at 7:00pm - Raleigh Studios - 5300 Melrose Avenue

Does this mean Kabbalah's Over?

So thankfully, Madonna appears to have moved on to her next 'religion.'' Of course this happens just as soon as Vanity Fair does a huge expose on the Kabbalah movement. I assume that it's only a matter of months until we see L. Lo, Brit-Brit, and Paris marching around in all-white ensembles with matching black belts, marketed by Neiman or Target, at the very least. Yeah, you think I'm kidding - but you remember when Target flirted with marketing their $26 stupid red strings.

L. Lo - Prairie Home Companionship

Okay, my love pagesixsixsix alerted me to this....I grew up on Prairie Home Companion (I had NPR parents who only listened to that one station - I still have flashbacks of sitting in the backseat of my mom's car whenever I hear the theme to 'Morning Edition' - this all of course explains why I'm so obsessed with popular culture), but is it true - L. Lo + Meryl? I had to do a little digging because well, I was horrified and I found this little nugget from Prairie Home's own site - granted, it was part of the show's storyline, but god, is that where they got the genius idea....: That said, L. Lo's good buddy, Tara Reid is also a Robert Altman alum - who knew he likes the big-boobed party gals as much as the rest of us? Dirty old man....



From the PHC site:
TR: I'm her editor. Lance Letterman. "Poisonous Seed" is going to be the book next fall. We have a first printing of 500,000—We've sold the film rights—Lindsay Lohan is playing Mona—Avril Lavigne is doing the title song. Give me the manuscript, Mr. Noir.

Well, thank god for the small things....

And here I'd been worried about K Fed's new do. Here he goes back to the old school do-rag look that we know and love.

My Cruuush Part Deux

PageSixSixSix reminded me yesterday that I neglected to include Perez in my list of favorite muses. If P.H. visits here again, I hope dear Perez realizes that I am truly only a humble servant to the Page Six and the PageSixSixSix dynasty.

ha - okay - I know I just made fun of Hello magazine in the previous post because they made an article out of Fergie 'starring' in a fashion show, but they just redeemed themselves with this photo of Heidi Klum and Seal dressed as dragons for a carnival in Bergisch Gladbach, Germany yesterday. Just days ago I was posting about how cool they were and this my friends, just proves it. They're out in public dressed as fucking 'fire-breathing monsters.' I don't think I need to say anything else.

In other news...

Shodey- did you post on here yesterday...you're the only one who knows I was at a gay club over the weekend. I am so trying to keep that a secret - uh yeah. whatever.

Weekend was fun -went to a karaoke bar, had more fun than anticipated, went to said gay bar, ate pizza, was happy. Super Bowl Sunday. As I watched the Brad Pitt Heineken commercial , I was momentarily psyched - I was drinking a Heineken at the same time as him...that means something right? I mean, we've already got the flirtation thing going on....I get into work today and i've gotta say, i just feel dirty sometimes working on the projects that we have to work on. That said, fingers crossed, there may be a trip to Europe in the works for next week. I'll be able to come back filled with all the latest "Hello" and "Paris Match" gossip. Although, let's be real - "Hello" covers things like Fergie in a fashion show (yawn), while I'll really only care about stuff in Paris Match if it includes something with Johnny Depp. Yum. Is it just me or does he look like Billy Crudup in this picture? Five demerits to this picture for making Johnny look like Billy. Billy is an ass.

Blind Items

I have a blind item to post, but I'm not going to for fear of potential reprisals. ummm...yeah, I'm a pussy sometimes. So, if you want to hear it, email me or put a comment in. It's interesting, but only if you care about media gossip.

In terms of other blind items, (and these aren't going to be a shockers- I'm just getting started here): what stories on a current teen superstar only hit the tip of the snow-covered mountain? I can't reveal more for fear of getting the boot from sources, but one rehabbing pal says teen dream is the worst of the bunch, even worse than this messy excuse of a Keds spokeswoman.

What trust fund baby has been cut off by the family because they want the baby to do something in life, but baby still has access to the Neiman Marcus cards and uses those all the time, buying things for friends then getting them to pay him back ? Barforexic girlfriend certainly appreciates that.

Sigh. Not surprising

Bush is recommending Tom Wolfe's book "I Am Charlotte Simmons" (chronicling frats, keggers, coeds, and sex) to friends. It's based, of course, on my favorite college whose parties you can read more about here.

The L-Word

Ya'll have no idea...I'm so excited. February 20. 10pm. Showtime. The second season of the L-Word. I'm not gay, but c'mon, in today's world, everyone's thought about it - how many "I'd sleep with Angelina Jolie" conversations have you had (or Jennifer Beals or Katherine Moennig)? THIS is my absolute favorite show - even above The O.C. And this article about it in today's Times got me so psyched that I went back and watched the season ender on Showtime on demand one more time. That episode was just insanely good. It's sort of like Sex & the City, but with much better sex. Honestly, I'd much rather spend my time watching Jennifer Beals having sex than horseface Sarah Jessica Parker (although SJP wins in the whose-wardrobe-do-I-want-more match).