KettyKet seriously likes Cam...because she's got attitude. Yeah, she could play along with the paparazzi like Miss Paris and show her ass every 2 seconds, but no, Cam keeps us on our toes. She likes the drama and likes the fight and that's (to quote Madame Paris) hot.
And seriously, KettyKet likes her because she seems relatively normal - she's a klutz, always breaking some random limb that you didn't even know existed - AND she's got legitimate Pro-Active skin problems. So, I say, kick ass, Cam...

Spanish Harlem

So I was on 110th and Lex the other night and saw a man who looked just like Marc Anthony- with a skinny little chihuahua look, in particular.
He said, "Mi Amiga, do you have $5 to spare?"
Not wanting to contribute to the crack addiction, I said, "No, my friend, not tonight."
Good that I declined because I now know for sure that between he and J. Ho, he has enough to support the habit (if it exists)...

I've officially seen it all - what's up with Katie Holmes and 'gay' men?

Ok. First, Chris Klein. Gay rumors all around. Now, Tom Cruise...no need to say what sort of rumors have been running rampant for YEARS. Yeah. Ewww. gross. This is like Tom Cruise dating me. What the hell is Katie Holmes thinking? He's like a dad or a big brother. We've grown up with him. Whereas someone like Mos Def or Joaquin Phoenix is straight-up sex, Tom Cruise is neutered.

And yet, and yet, People confirms that they're dating. Again, I ask, what sort of contract does Cruise get these women to sign? They get the publicity and he gets the public confirmation that he's straight.

Sigh.

Because it'll make our favorite narcissist happy, I"m gonna go ahead and post a picture of something we've all seen countless times before: Miss Paris Hilton's backside - this one taken as she heads out to the "House of Wax" premiere. I really want it to bomb.
And p.s. - in the Paris v. Nicole showdown, Go Nicole!



"The closest to looking like a virgin Paris may ever be."

Still Dirrty

Lest anyone think that newly engaged, Marilyn Monroe wanna-be X-tina has completely cleaned up her act, she decides to revive the skanky look of old on her way to yoga class...last week it was Pink, this week, it's Christina who decides to pull the ole 'check out my hot-circa-1999-nipple ring' look. Very boobalicious, indeed, X-tina.

You Heard It Here First

The New York Post's Elisa Lipsky-Karasz had the following to say about Ethan Hawke's new girlfriend over the weekend, BUT folks - I told you he was dating the nanny WEEKS ago in an extremely not-so-blind item...

From KettyKet on April 5, 2005:
What Oscar-nominated actor/novelist is dating his [former] nanny? Don't think it was going on when he was still with his Oscar-nominated wife (who has since very publicly moved on from him), but only those three know for sure....

From Elisa:
Ethan Hawke is dating once again.

His new girl is a blonde who sports two tattoos (KettyKet: two very big tattoos, indeed), said a spy. He's so proud of her that he personally showed her around the new set of "Hurlyburly" at its off-Broadway location at 37 Arts.

Maybe she helped him prepare for the play's now-famous opening, where he lies on his stomach on a couch, boxers pulled waaaaay down while the audience files in. "Yeah, I did special butt-method acting," Hawke joked after the opening performance Wednesday night. "No, I don't use makeup on the butt," he continued. "Nothing at all."

P. Diddy's Lady Love - EXCLUSIVE

One has to wonder what sort of agreement Puffy and his long-time, long-suffering babymamma and girlfriend, Kim Porter, have. Several months ago, Diddy was spotted with an attractive Asian woman at Sarabeth's, an Upper West Side brunch locale. Word at that time was that she was one of his top employees at Sean John.

Now, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your boss, but mine certainly doesn't include late night check-ins at the Mandarin Oriental, as Diddy and the beautiful Asian were spotted doing recently....

MIA

I feel like I"ve been MIA for the last several weeks - but with good reason...I think I want to start a new career in the FBI or the CIA. I've been researching, talking to witnesses, visiting crime scene, gathering police reports, etc..for my own little investigation into the mysterious death of someone at their high school reunion last summer. I don't know what to make of the whole thing - especially after going down to the crime scene over the weekend and trying to put together pieces of the puzzle of the night in question. Was it an accident, was it a hate crime?
The worst thing is that I really don't think I'll ever officially know. I don't want to give up, but most people are so close-lipped that I'm really not sure I'll definitively get anywhere with this and may have to let it lie. Which is horrible for the victim - he deserves for us to know what happened to him.

On a separate note, my friend gets back from the African vacay with Brad Pitt today...
And starting tomorrow, I'm gonna try to get back into this..

All that Starbucks caffeine can't be good for the baby -

It may be okay to steal Jen's hubby, but Angie's got other values in the right place, teaching Maddox to throw his waste in the proper trashcan while in NYC.

On a separate note, I've been down South for the last several days, and ALL the country stations were playing Angelina's song non-stop..."Home-wrecker" by Gretchen Wilson...

Look what it's doing to Britney....

Brad, Angie, & Maddox Go To Africa

Ok, so a friend of mine is touring Africa with Brad Pitt right now and I'm insanely happy for her (once of course I moved past the holy-shit- are-you-kidding- me, you're- the -luckiest -person I know phase).



The picture above speaks a thousand words...

I've been hinting and hinting for weeks, but couldn't say anything due to sworn secrecy. But when you wait and only hint around - someone else comes out and says what you've been holding back. Like this: Corey definitely knows how to push Paula Abdul's buttons. That boy's got her number.

Like I've been saying

Paula Abdul & other Idol-ites...watch your back.

No other updates today.

Okay, it's random, I know, but when I saw this Katie Holmes picture, I had a flashback to Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters...you can see it, right?

"I Got a Nasty Rash, but Mather Lather was Fun"

- Ewww. Duke tried something like this a few years ago - burning benches when we beat Carolina was briefly banned to try out this foam party idea. Yeah, lots of fun. Don't remember hearing if people got rashes, but eww...and the next year we were back to burning benches.

-I'm so mean, but seriously, if there's one over-rated celebrity I can't stand, it's Hopez...I'm just lovin all the bad press heading her way these days. I used to find PETA annoying - a little too over-the-top for my taste, but I have to say, i'm lovin the j.ho drama...

-Speaking of J.Lo, Jennifer Garner got the shaft..."does this mean you don't love me as much as her?" Ben gives her a much smaller engagement ring than the infamous Bennifer pink diamond.

- Jude and Sienna to move to NYC. West Village, I presume.

-Brit on round the clock care?

-Reese drops William Morris.

- Told ya yesterday - Brad officially heading to Ethiopia and South Africa with TV news crews in tow...

LiLo Unveiled

Okay, I officially have the crappiest task in the world tonight - I want to shoot myself..but in the meantime - a few photos for your viewing pleasure.
There's a new blonde in town...and her name's Hohan

A Lot Like Loves Screening...

You cannot tell me that Demi Moore isn't pregnant - if I'd spent as much money and time on my body over the years, I wouldn't be covering it up with that nasty handkerchief if I wasn't pregnant.

Teasing the Cameras

Pink has a bit of a bull in a china closet personality...so it's no surprise to see her fabulous accoutrement - a nose ring, a nipple ring - you say tomato, I say tomahto.

Scandalous? Natalie Portman teases...

The Christening Photos

The EXTREMELY cute photos of David, Courteney, and Coco Arquette and a pretty Jennifer Aniston have been taken down from here.
For this reason. I mean, it's so likely that they'd find Kettyket & sue, but still....
And this one.

Morsels (for now)

- "And so I'm back....from outer space," (at least since 1997)...Miss Mariah aka Mimi, has been emancipated. She's got her biggest opening week ever. Round 2,947 in J. Ho versus Mariah goes to MARIAH.
- Despite little Apple, could Gwynnie's hubby be contemplating suicide?
- Jessica Simpson - I gots to agree: mind-numbingly average. " She tries to be so sexy but fails miserably because it’s all too thought out. When Britney or Christina wear something (bad or good) they make it their own. Jessica looks like her outfits been chosen by 20 stylists, 10 friends and her mum. "
- Second time I've seen this rumor: Dawson's Creek's Michelle Williams pregnant with Heath Ledger's baby. And Naomi Watts ain't happy 'bout it.
-Definitely old news, but wanted to post it. Paris doesn't deal with competition well. Now that Nicole's looking better and acting better than Paris is, Paris dumps her, so she can still feel like the Queen Bee.

Charlotte Casiraghi, Princess Grace's grand-daughter and Princess Caroline of Monaco's daughter...just insanely, unbelievably gorgeous. Sigh. Good genes.

I once walked a couple of blocks behind the badass that is 2005 Sports Illustrated model Carolyn Murphy (hey, it was a SoHo coincidence) when she was wearing a mini-skirt. She had beautiful, albeit slightly short (yes, it's true) legs....So, I'm A) happy to see her teaching her daughter to surf - and B) happy to see that Brandon, her boyfriend, the Incubus guy, doesn't mind a model chick with a normal booty.

You know, they say that celebrities are just like us, but unlike Jennifer Love Hewitt, I'm not so much a fan of Donald Duck

Nor do I consider myself a pervert...

Rumor is that Lindsay's become a blonde, but she keeps hiding herself, so who knows when we'll know the truth... but we can handle the truth.

More LiLo peek-a-boo with the camera...

OutKast & Rosa Parks Settle Lawsuit

Rosa Parks and Atlanta rap duo OutKast have settled a lawsuit in which the civil rights pioneer accused the group of wrongly using her name in a song title, her guardian said Thursday.
OutKast, Sony BMG Music Entertainment and two of the company's units admitted no wrongdoing, but agreed to work on projects "to enlighten today's youth about the significant role Rosa Parks played in making America a better place for all races," Parks' guardian Dennis Archer said in a statement. Under the settlement, OutKast and the other defendants agreed to work with the Rosa and Raymond Parks Institute for Self Development to develop educational programs.
OutKast and other contemporary artists also will perform on a tribute CD to be produced by Sony BMG, and the parties will collaborate on an educational television program about Parks' life and legacy that will be distributed on DVDs to thousands of public schools nationwide.(AP)

I've always thought Brittany Murphy looked & acted a little too much like a crack whore to be a movie star.

There are girls like Jessica Alba who you see and are all, yeah, I like you, we could be friends.


But the Brittany Murphys of the world remind me of all the nasty high school chicks who would make out with guys by the gym during lunch or lose their virginity to them in the back of their dad's pick-up truck in the school parking lot before the first bell. (whether true or not, that was the story and Dunbar class of '97, you know you heard it, too, and you KNOW who I'm talkin about...)

She's a Maneater....

The night begins as usual for Tara Reid. Lookin rowdy and festive, albeit safely covered up, but...obviously on the prowl. Wait, what's that? Who's there?


No, Jesse Metcalfe, you're not gettin away that easy...Tara's got you firmly in her grip, not to let go til she's had her fill....

(side note: am I the only one, though, who thought that Desperate Housewives' Jesse didn't really like the ladies?)

Guess Who, Ya'll?

In honor of this week's big announcement, I thought it was appropriate to post some of Brit-Brit's baby pix, to get us all in the mood for how her little one may look. Scroll down this little slide show if you will, perhaps with the tune of John Mayer's "Daughters" in your head....

MANDY, sweet Mandy

I want to point your attention to Mandy Moore and Pharrell promoting Coach's Spring 2005 Scribble line in Japan last week. Why? Because check out Pharrell's jeans. Is it a star? Is it symbol? I don't know, but it's a definite party in the pants.
And Happy Belated 21st B-day to Mandy a few days ago....what'd you and the 30-something boyf Zach Braff do to celebrate?

Proud Papa-To-Be

The proud "third time's the charm" sperm donor goes golfing, cigarette never far from his lips, while the world ponders the Spederline spawn.

Watch out Us, In Touch, Star, Life & Style

The grand-daddy of the modern celeb journal is hitting American soil...Ok! magazine will be here soon!

OK! magazine, the No.1 newsstand revenue earner in Europe, is coming to America with a fully-staffed USA edition, based at offices in the heart of Manhattan. This will be the biggest celebrity weekly launch of 2005. OK! magazine has editions in the UK, Australia, China, and areas of the Middle and Far East. The American launch is designed to consolidate the brand as the world's #1 celebrity title.

I love Brit-Brit

But ya'll - c'mon - Paula Zahn devoted her CNN show to her tonight?
"Britney Spears: She's been a Mousketeer, a naughty Catholic schoolgirl, and now she's a mom-to-be. Paula profiles Britney Spears. Tune in at 8 p.m. ET."

Not a big fan of the Hopez - even if she claims to want the simple life. But I'm fascinated by her little Swedish girl hairdo in this clip from Fox News, promoting her new movie "Monster-in-Law" and an album en Espagnol with Marc Anthony (because the English one was so successful, we can't wait for its Spanish companion on the Best Buy discount shelves).

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, watcha gonna do...the girl-lovin' Chris Klein arrested for a DUI...but no one notices for two months. Ouch. He's swimmin' way under the radar. He never did it for KettyKet - a little too Elijah Wood-ish, to tell the truth.

Is it just me or does Nicole look a bit like a Nazi school ma'rm at the German premiere of "The Interpreter?"

Joaquin Phoenix Goes to Rehab

Since he's my future husband, I'm glad he's taking care of these problems now....

From the AP:
Joaquin Phoenix has checked into a rehabilitation facility to deal with alcohol abuse problems.
"He was uncomfortable with the way that he was living his life and found the courage to deal with his disease," publicist Susan Patricola said in a statement Tuesday.
Phoenix, 30, voluntarily entered an undisclosed rehab facility two weeks ago and hoped that coming forward will encourage others with the same problem to get help as well, Patricola said.
Phoenix starred in 2004's "The Village" and was nominated for a supporting actor Oscar for his portrayal of Commodus in 2000's "Gladiator." He will portray Johnny Cash in "Walk the Line,"
due out later this year.
His brother River Phoenix died of a drug overdose in 1993 outside The Viper Room in Los Angeles. The star of "Stand by Me" and "My Own Private Idaho" was 23.

Morsels

Playing the role of the wise, old sage, Brad Pitt gives love advice to the young, puppyish Orlando Bloom. So yeah, those of ya'll who are all excited about the Orl - Skinny Kate reunion, I don't know if I'd start planning for the wedding....

Pete Doherty's Been Cleared: Blackmail and theft chargesagainst troubled rock star Pete Doherty have been dropped,Britain's Crown Prosecution Service said on Monday. The volatile former singer of the Libertines, openly addicted tococaine and heroin, has seen his musical talents upstagedlately by his drug use, jail time and an on-and-offrelationship with supermodel Kate Moss. (AP)

So - random - but tonight I made a quick run to my neighborhood grocery store to get OJ (fluids are good for a cold). On the way out the front door, I'm looking down into my bag when I literally run smack into the guy walking in. I'm of course, terribly flustered, all "Oh, sorry, my bad," and sort of looking down, doing the whole 'don't want to make eye contact because I'm embarrassed that I can't walk properly despite 25 years of practice' move.

I then hear a familiar voice say, "Don't worry about it. It's okay," and he continues walking. But I turn around and ah, gasp to myself. Seinfeld! I almost knocked over Seinfeld! And he was wearing jeans, just like he always does on the show! And glasses! And looked pretty nondescript!

Now, he's not a rock star or anything, but I grew up with him and I had to call my roomie b/c we watch the show when we're eating ice cream. (well, I did get like that one other time when I passed Ethan Hawke on the street, but knowing now that he's dating his nanny, would I still feel the same way?)

Anyway - had to share that Seinfeld moment. As I walked away, I was a little bummed that I didn't get to stand behind him in line or something so I could see what he bought. Alas. But, if ya'll are lookin for him, you can of course find him on the UWS - the Gristedes on 85th and Columbus. yep.

RIAA Goes After File-Sharing

The recording industry intends to sue hundreds of college students accused of illegally distributing music and movies across Internet2, the super-fast computer network connecting leading universities for researching the next generation of the Internet, industry officials said Tuesday.

WHEE!!!

Showing her rebelliousness, Jennifer Garner goes cycling with her trainer - but look, she's not wearing armpads! That gal's got edge.
(sorry - ya'll know I don't 'get' her).

It's Official: Brit's a Momma-To-Be!!!!

I interrupt my sick leave to blog that yes, ya'll, our little gal has grown up...Brit-Brit's preggers - she announced today on her newly revamped website:

"The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that
we are expecting our first child together. There were reports
that I was in the hospital this weekend. Kevin and I just want
everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers.
Love Britney and Kevin

But today's announcement came after a weekend of fear and worry when Brit was rushed to a Florida hospital.

And it's no big shock that People sent out their press release early (we know how Brit feels about those trashy tabs like the Star):

Spears earlier discussed with PEOPLE her desire to start a family. After she and Federline, 27, were married on Sept. 18, 2004, in a ceremony at a private home in Studio City, Calif. Spears said: "I want to be a young mom. I can see us as parents."

Just before Thanksgiving last year, Spears posted a letter to fans talking about her desires to take a break from music and focus on motherhood. "I've had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world & back and even kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven't done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that's having a baby. I can't wait!" she wrote.

i'm sick

postings back up when i feel like it.

Regis Gets 'Hip' To The Scissor Sisters

KettyKet couldn't be more proud of him if he was her Kentucky brother, but yay, Mark's bro and his band got a(nother) mag article - this time in Paper. It includes this little tidbit on Reege.

"He asked, 'What is a Scissor Sister?'" explains Matronic. "And I was like, 'Well, there's a handshake..."
Shears continues, "I was like, 'I can't really say what it is on this show,' but I took his hand and went like this" -- he separates his middle fingers from his ring fingers and interlocks his hands in an unmistakably lewd gesture -- "and Kelly and Jimmy were like, 'Oh. My. God.' Regis turned to Jimmy and tried to do it to him, and Jimmy was like, 'No, no, no, thanks.' It was really cute."

"Regis was like, 'You guys are called Scissor Sisters, but I only see one lady up here!'" Matronic says, laughing.

"Yeah," Shears says, finishing the story, "And Ana's like, 'You'd be surprised!'"

PB and J - not as simple as it was when we were kids

"There's only so far you can go in trying to patent the ever-popular peanut butter and jelly sandwich. On Friday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit rejected an effort by J.M. Smucker Co. to patent its process for making pocket-size peanut butter and jelly pastries called "Uncrustables."

Smucker's 2-ounce peanut butter and jelly pockets come in two flavors - strawberry and grape - and are enclosed without a crust using a crimping method that the Orrville, Ohio, company says is one of a kind and should be protected from duplication by federal law.

Patent examiners at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office disagreed, saying the crimped edges are similar to making ravioli or a pie crust. "

The WSJ has more on this story that made me smile.

Ashlee Simpson Dressing Room Demands

Compliments of the pros at The Smoking Gun, here is the Ashlee Simpson concert rider and dressing room demands.

"Drums, Bass, 2 Guitars, and pre-recorded sequences operated by the drummer." Along with keeping the beat, Ashlee's poor bandmate also has to press the play button (an indignity never suffered, of course, by Max Roach, Charlie Watts, or even the Spinal Tap drummers). The rider also includes the 20-year-old performer's dressing room demands, which include a jar of pickle relish and a "Ubiquitous Deli Platter with appropriate condiments." We're pretty sure someone besides Ashlee came up with (and spelled) the word ubiquitous.

The list also includes 12-packs of Amstel and Miller Lite (for the band - Ashlee's underage, remember, ya'll)

Just Get a Room

Anna and Enrique - forever PDA

Jessica Simpson is such a starfucker

Ya'll - that gal just wants to sleep her way to the BBD - bigger, better deal. Apparently, this is being sent all around today, but ooooh, it's so good...(not exactly new news, but official confirmation)...Anne - thanks for forwarding! I love my dirty news. Totally gotta be true - everyone remembers the unexpected emergency trip down to my fave city of Baton Snooze during filming...Full email below:

Okay, so I've been meaning to email all of you and inform you of the great gossip I brought back with me from LA. I have told a few of you already, so you might as well hit delete right now if I told you. Anyway...XXX's best friend and business partner (for those of you who don't know, XXX is XXX's boyfriend...my best friend from high school) was at lunch with Johnny Knoxville last week, and Johnny told him that he was really upset and felt horrible because he broke up a marriage. Oh yes...

he told him that he and Jessica Simpson have been sleeping together through the entire filming of Dukes of Hazard!!!!!! Nick knows, and that is why he has been "out on the town" as the tabloids have been saying. Jessica is staying with her parents right now, and they are waiting until all of the Newlyweds stuff dies down before they separate. How sad for poor Nick. His wife is cheating on him, and the tabloids are giving him a hard time for going out and "flirting" with other girls.

Can you believe it? I couldn't! Anyway, apparently it's supposed to come out in the tabloids within two weeks...we will see. Good gossip, huh? Very depressing for the cute couple, but great gossip!!!! Hope everyone is having a better day than Nick.
-K

Damaging MJ Testimony

In graphic testimony during today's Jackson trial, a former security guard testified that he saw MJ and the 1993 accuser in the jacuzzi together at Neverland. He claims to have seen him put the boy's penis in his mouth, suck the boy's nipples, and passionately kiss the boy.
So, do we believe him or not?

UPDATE: Adrian McManus, another former MJ employee, testified today that four boys routinely slept in Jackson's bed, including Macaulay Culkin and Brit-Brit choreographer, Wade Robson. She claims to have seen MJ kiss Culkin on the cheek while touching his leg or rear. She also saw Macaulay dump an entire soda and popcorn on Jackson's head from a theater balcony. Because God knows he deserved it.

Linds figures: hey, I'm skinny, I definitely don't need my 'fat' clothes, so she does what any good, sober, thoughtful teen queen would do: donates her old wardrobe to homeless women.
Madonna's maaaaad at her kids
Photographer Must Give DNA in Kidman case (related: she's not pregnant)
Another day, another boy for the slutty (?) diva that is Eva Longoria.
Eh, I don't know, still newsworthy? Witness in Kobe Case Speaks Out
To combat the depression over his divorce (& to avoid looking like a complete cad for cheating with Angelina), Brad plunges into volunteer work: Brad Pitt, Bono, Djimon Hounsou on PSA Against Poverty & AIDS
And finally, I'm intrigued by MTV"s "Meet the Barkers." Although, MTV - what was up with that non-public service announcement of Travis getting stoned for dinner and then driving both he and Shanna home? Sure, you drive better stoned, but you're not supposed to really tell the kids that...

"Mend It Like Beckham"

Popbitch has a great little item this week full of tips on how Brit, like Victoria Beckham, can quickly shed the babyweight. Only the best, most private hospitals offer this convenient procedure:

First off, the celebrity mother gets her silicone breast implants removed early in her
pregnancy to prevent stretching, then when the baby is born (usually whipped out by caesarean at eight months to prevent the mother having to get too fat) new implants are put back,
liposuction is done on the arse and thighs plus a full tummy tuck to get rid of all signs of
pregnancy. The new mother keeps hidden from the public for about ten days while everything
heals - which, of course, is not suspicious, as she's just given birth.

Watch Your Back, Mischa

Paris is all over your patented Blank-Stare-and-Furrow-Brow Technique. Just look at ths reaction shot while filming "Bottoms Up" with Jason Mewes...(yes, ya'll - that's Silent Bob's Jay - all cleaned up and off the drugs(?) now). C'mon now, Mischa, that's not hot.

No Rest for the Osbournes

Aimee Osbourne, the eldest daughter of Ozzy andSharon Osbourne, is now having treatment in Los Angeles after alump was removed from her breast, Sharon Osbourne said Wednesday.

"Aimee's had a breast cancer scare. She found a lump on herbreast which she's had removed," Sharon Osbourne said in astatement without saying whether the lump was cancerous orproviding other details.

This comes on the heels of Sharon and Aimee withdrawing from a London production of "The Vagina Monologues" last Friday.

Oh...and Elisabeth Hasselback had a baby girl. I'll be breathlessly waiting for her phone-in to "The View" tomorrow to find out the little one's name.

Morsels

The Housewives all go diva on the Vanity Fair cover shoot. The only truly surprising thing about this revelation is how long it took for one of these reports to leak out. Women are vicious, ya know....but Teri Hatcher denies, denies, denies.
Gasp! More trouble with the Spederlines - even as Brit is pregnant with the Spaderline.
More evidence that Mariah is stuck at the age of 13.
Thank God - Ben Stiller giving us all a break.
Sienna says wedding still on.
Mother-daughter pornographers.
The $30,000/day doll loses it all (because the trials of beautiful people are always worse than our own).

Shameless Starlet-in-Bikini Post

Keira Knightley frolics with the boyf...

while in the Caribbean filming the "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel.


And while it's all well and good to see Keira in a bikini, I wanna know where the sunbathing Johnny Depp can be found...

Peter

Because I was out most of the day, this couldn't be posted earlier & is everywhere now. This happens the day after the launch of his brainchild was announced: ABC Debuts Digital Network (Distributor TBA)
We're all pulling for him.

Peter’s Email
Dear All – Forgive me the group mailing – but it seems the easiest way to tell a lot of people I care for ….. about a change in my life.
I have been diagnosed with lung cancer. Yes, it was quite a surprise.
As you all know, this is a challenge. I begin chemo-therapy next week. I will continue to do the broadcast. There will be good days and bad, which means that some days I may be cranky and some days really cranky! Almost 10 million Americans are living with cancer. I am sure I will learn from them how to cope with the facts of life that none of us anticipated. In all the years I have worked here I have had the most outstanding support from this news division.
Hundreds of you have been like family. It feels good to have such a family right now.
Peter

?????

What Oscar-nominated actor/novelist is dating his [former] nanny? Don't think it was going on when he was still with his Oscar-nominated wife (who has since very publicly moved on from him), but only those three know for sure....

Ah...the bump. I don't know about ya'll, but I'm soooo looking forward to the next 6 months - especially during the long, hot days of summer...Lovin the countdown Liquid Generation.

And oh, my long, hot days of summer will be made ever so much better by this:
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are so sick of paparazzi and tabloids that they're creating their own reality series that tells it their way. Variety says they've sold it to U-P-N, which plans to get this six-part series on the air by the end of May. Mostly it's video that Spears and Federline shot themselves. It shows them dating, falling in love and getting married.

Yeah guys. Because having Penelope drag a camel down the red carpet is a genius idea. It better rake in $22 mil this weekend or her publicist is sooooo fired. Tom might've liked the men, but at least he didn't smell like hay.

Just Like A Woman

KettyKet is a child of the '80s. That's why, just easily as I can spot (and hear) a snap bracelet a mile away, I can see that Christina is rockin the glassy-eyed, red-lipsticked, shellacked-hair look that is known as the Robert Palmer chick.

Along with Madonna (during her 'Like A Prayer' and 'Justify My Love' days) and the girl in the Billy Idol 'Cradle of Love' video, little 10-year-old me thought these were the prettiest girls in the world (sigh)...so yes, dear mom, those MTV images that you so desperately tried to keep from me (along with the Barbie dolls) really did make an impression. And I say that relatively seriously. It's fascinating how the images you digest as a child play a roll in your adulthood. And can explain the sociological phenomenon of modern-day dating in New York, right? Anyway.


The Billy Idol 'Cradle of Love' video still remains one of my faves - so sexy, sexy. Seriously, it's hot. Gang- you can find it here.

Desperately Seeking

Good help is so hard to find these days...Posh and Becks' nanny abruptly quit on them recently, forcing the hot duo to post an advertisement on the Internet. Based on Becks' history with the ladies, it might be prudent for Posh to only seriously consider 50-somethings who look like Camilla for the job.

oohh...Tina vs. Wonkette?

Tina's gonna go head-to-head with Wonkette....
It's official - Arianna Huffington is launching a blog....with entries by Tina Brown, David Geffen, Larry David, Barry Diller, Sen. Jon Corzine, and others.
And here's the background article on it.

PostSecret

Post a secret on this site - On that note, I've got an anonymous (sort of) secret myself...self-sabotaged a date this weekend. Is that weird? And I did it in a really passive-aggressive way. Arriving late, I was tired, and was just obnoxious in general all night. I have no idea why I was like that. It's just bizarre and sort of rude. Could go into it, but it's one of those thoughts where you're just too embarrassed for yourself to want to go there. Know what I mean?

Over & Out

Everyone's favorite little East Village couple is done and done. Adams has even abandoned the east side in favor of the West Village where he'll be within spitting distance of Perez. So - let us know if he gets back with Winona or ya know, who his latest indie princess conquest might be...

Second - are Sienna and Jude on the rocks?

And finalement in couples news - most definitely not over & out are Kate and Pete...seems Pete's convinced his lady love to sing on his next album. Here's hoping she keeps him sober...

Vote Rick James, Bitch!

Pity Rick James and his wife, Diane of Hattiesburg, MS. His campaign for City Council has been positively wrecked by the catchphrase from the Chappelle Show, so Diane wants Comedy Central to pay up and buy new signs...

"Due to the popularity of the Dave Chappelle show, people keep stealing our 'Vote Rick James' yard signs ... the yard signs have been spotted at least 100 miles from our home by truckers ... Also, young children on bikes scream, 'I'm Rick James, bitch!' as we drive by in our car with our 'Rick James' car signs ... People even drive by our home and scream, 'Super Freak. "

Here - a thrilling first-person account of stealing a "Vote Rick James" sign.

Donations (each sign is $4.75) can be sent to: Rick James, 606 S. 17th Avenue, Hattiesburg, MS 39401

The I'm An Idiot Diet

Some people try this to lose weight. Others prefer the lure of Cabbage Soup, while still others are followers of the Goddess that is Grapefruit. Then, of course, you've got the chicks like LiLo or Jess who like the good, old-fashioned celeb standby. Oh oops. I meant to link here.

I, however, am really into the "I'm an Idiot Diet," also known as the "I Need a New Job with a Higher Paycheck Diet." Conveniently, I don't make the decision of when I'll start the program - the kind people at Citibank alert me via ATM's, bank statements, missing debit card,etc...of when I need to tone up. Last night was primarily my fault, though - I lost my debit card. It's somewhere on this crazy island, probably the LES, but it's really,truly gone. I won't have another one for at least a week, and in the meantime I'll be living like a squirrel, foraging my cabinets for the stockpiles of popcorn, canned veggies, and frozen meals we've got hidden away. I think there might even be packets of peanut butter crackers that my mother (yes, my mother -bless her heart- she insisted on coming up from down South to help me move) bought when I moved in over a year ago. Eww.

So this winning combination of my being grossed out at having to eat this food (there's a reason its been languishing in the cabinets) and the obvious high amount of calories exerted by combing through the kitchen (way more than the treadmill) always leads me to lose at least 3 pounds in one week. Do you have results like that, "One Good Meal Diet." ?

?????

What Barbara Walters wanna-be hooked up with an equally married 'sexpert' at a movie premiere? I think it's safe to say that, despite the marriages, neither one has a particular true companion in their lives.....

RIP = Tyra's Boobs

I'm not gonna lie - when I was growing up, I absolutely wanted boobs like Tyra's. Hell...I still do. But apparently, I'm gonna have to rely on the old school photos when I go to the plastic surgeon for my enhancement...Tyra's retiring her girls.
(if I was late to this fact, too bad....i was in freakin baton snooze)...

The Superstar of the Movie of Life - me & the Marriott

Je suis allee au Baton Rouge depuis mercredi...fun stuff. Except that I definitely feared for my life at a certain point. Yours truly hasn't driven a car in about two years, so I'm already nervous about getting a rental car before I even go up to National to get my first 'official' rental. Ya'll - sadly, until I turn 65, I think this is the last government intervention on my rights (sort of makes me sad - unless I get a feeding tube, the government won't care about what I do for the next 40 yrs)- prior to this, I was under the impression that you gotta wait til you're 25 to rent a car...at least until I start talking to the nice people at National. They're all "Oh, honey, dohn't ya knooow..ya can rent a caa when ya're 21 in Lousianaaaa." Um...'scuse me? I should've come here years ago...

(side note - I can hear my roomie having sex. This freakin annoys the hell out of me b/c every time I'm like 'tone it down' and every time she blushes and says she's sorry and still, every time I see J walk in the door post 9pm, i'm like shit, gotta get the tylenol pm or beer for me. Alas, I"m still awake)...

Anyway, so last night, I'm all drivin like a grandma -hands at 10 o'clock and 2 'oclock and ticking in at 50 mph on a 60 mph speed limit. And I'm talkin to myself. C'mon Ketty Ket, you can do this, not a big deal if they pass you in the exit lane...but I'm still so freaked out that I don't even remotely have the radio on - "KettyKet, you can't turn on the radio - it'll totally distract you if you try to sing along with 50"...Long story short, I get lost in the GHETTO. Not a little ghetto..an intersection of Choctaw and Plank. Can you remotely imagine those two streets conjuring good images? Indians like the Choctaw were massacred during the Lewis & Clark days and Plank? - please...all I can think of is that pirates make you walk the plank before you die...so yeah, that's where I was - at a Shell station where I later find out was the site of a murder the week before. And then my retarded ass almost causes an accident because I stop in the middle of an intersection - causing people in 3 lanes to fuck up their driving patterns...whatever- like I said - it was 10pm and they thought I was stoned.

Now, I dated a guy who lived in Harlem - didn't bother me that we would have to pass various hookers on our way to his building at night. 'No, babe, no 3-some tonight." Whatever - I like to think I'm a ballsy chick...and yet, still, I was stuck in random Baton Rouge at 10pm and I was hungry for some french fries with no Popeyes in sight and I see some cracked out guy wandering into the bushes on the side of Shell to do God knows what....so thank you dear Marriott for allowing me to turn you into my personal On-Star system. Seriously - On-Star doesn't know what they're missing...I'd make a commercial for ya in a heartbeat. For 20 minutes you put up with me: "Okay, I passed Short. Now I'm passing Florida...wait, is this where the freshmen LSU kids go to get their cheap beer and liquor? B/c I just saw a great sign for some cheap goodies and there's some kids in polo's in the parking lot...okay, I feel safer now - I think I'm probably 10 minutes away" (based on my own adventures in freshmen/high school alcohol purchases in L-town-usually a radius of about 10 minutes from the 'good' neighborhood and the 'useful' neighborhood).

Ok. I'm gonna sign off now. J is driving me crazy, so I think I'm gonna have to make the roomie blush. Jesus - I don't get it - he has a single apartment - why the fuck do they come up here to disrupt my sleep?