I've officially seen it all - what's up with Katie Holmes and 'gay' men?

Ok. First, Chris Klein. Gay rumors all around. Now, Tom Cruise...no need to say what sort of rumors have been running rampant for YEARS. Yeah. Ewww. gross. This is like Tom Cruise dating me. What the hell is Katie Holmes thinking? He's like a dad or a big brother. We've grown up with him. Whereas someone like Mos Def or Joaquin Phoenix is straight-up sex, Tom Cruise is neutered.

And yet, and yet, People confirms that they're dating. Again, I ask, what sort of contract does Cruise get these women to sign? They get the publicity and he gets the public confirmation that he's straight.