Laguna Update

So...compliments of the Seattle Times (and my fave Laguna/Kristin junkie, Adam - I'm gonna say again, I don't think she's that special) here's a little Laguna update....

Alex M., Jason, Lauren ("LC") and Dieter were in Seattle in support of Dieter's charity, Running Home 4 Teens (rh4t.com), which he founded last year to raise awareness for teenagers suffering from depression and substance abuse after battling depression himself over his breakup with Jessica. Meantime, Stephen and Kristin also happened to be in town on Saturday night to host a foam party, which I didn't realize actually existed outside of episodes of "Elimidate," but anyway.

Since UW played USC on Saturday, I used the opportunity to bring up the subject of Matt Leinart when I met Kristin at the Grand Hyatt that evening. They dated for a couple of months at the beginning of "Laguna's" second season.

"He saw me on the show ... and called me out of nowhere one day," Kristin said. "I had no idea who he was, so I looked up his picture on the USC Web site, but it was a really bad picture, so I was like, 'Ew! I'm not calling him back!' " (I looked up his picture, too, and she's right — he looked kind of like Bob Guiney from "The Bachelor." Not hot.)

Kristin, who lives in Los Angeles and is pursuing acting, arrived hand-in-hand with Brody Jenner, 22, who starred in the short-lived Fox reality series "Princes of Malibu." He just bought her a French bulldog puppy, which she named Bentley.

By the way, Kristin and Steph-en are so not getting back together. Dun-zo.

But I'm over it, because I'm pretty sure Lauren and Jason are the new Kristin and Stephen. Yes, they are totally dating, and he lo-o-oves her. He told me so as we were sitting outside Joeys Saturday night — he was smoking Parliament Lights and I was wearing his black fleece hoodie because it was cold and he offered. I know what you're thinking: I can't believe Pam was wearing fleece.

Here's what I was thinking: I can't believe Jason knows more than three words. I asked him why he never talks on the show. (Sample dialogue: "Wow." "What?" "Nothing.")

"It was just the situations they put me in. They [MTV] set you up and they'll be like, 'Listen, you're going to go to this place and talk about this.' It makes me really uncomfortable," he said.

That whole breakup scene with Jessica? Fake.

"I broke up with Jessica three or four weeks before that," Jason said. "I wasn't going to call her and break up with her on camera for real."

He doesn't talk to Jessica anymore and he said he doesn't care for Alex M. much either. (I love Alex M. I want her to be my new best friend.) Jason and Jessica dated for less than two months; Jason and Alex M. dated for "like a minute," she says. "It was really fast."

"Jason's like the guy who you get a little buzz on and then you kiss him," Alex M. said. "I'm telling you, everyone has kissed Jason." (Later, I asked Kristin if she was the only girl in Laguna who hadn't kissed Jason. "I've kissed him!" she laughed. "But that's it.")

Jessica, meanwhile, is going to community college in Laguna and recently started hanging out with Dieter again. "She comes up [to Los Angeles] and I've been going back to Laguna a lot," Dieter said. "I love the girl and I'll always love her. She knows that." As for a reunion between the couple, he said, "I dunno."

• Alex H. is moving in with Alex M. (and out of Kristin's place — scandalous!) in Los Angeles. Alex M. recently set her up with a guy in a band and they are now dating.

• Casey's stepdad invented the frozen burrito and she lives in the old Gucci mansion in Laguna, according to Alex M. "MTV kind of forced me to be friends with her," she said.

• Alex M. is recording an album. So is Talan.

• Jason, Stephen and Dieter live together in Los Angeles in a 16th floor high-rise. Jason and Stephen are taking acting classes; Dieter is interning at a talent agency. None of them cleans the apartment. "You walk in there and you don't even see the floor," Jason said.

• Kristin just scored a small role in an upcoming Al Pacino movie called "88 Minutes." She doesn't know what the part is, and she didn't have to audition.

• Stephen is currently single and looking. He wants someone who is mature, has a good personality, loves to have fun and "can keep up." And by the way, he never hooked up with Paris Hilton.

Ok. Um. Ew. Not to be a bitch, but Jessica's one so she's due a little karmic come-uppence. According to my "In Touch," Jess dear, gaucho pants are out, silver wrap belts could only look good on Barberella, and smooshed-in boobs don't look good on anyone, least of all a Barbie clone like you. Nick, on the other hand, I love how you keep it real...

"We Are The World" momma, Angelina Jolie takes her kiddos, Maddox and Zahara, out shopping in NYC before attending the WorldWide Orphan Foundation's benefit where she shows how awesome she looks from ooh-la-la (boobage), every angle. (although really, ya'll, do we think that's a preggers bump as some tabloids claim?) sigh...to have a baby bump that small...


And then, look who re-appears...brother & fave smoocher, James Haven, looking his usual um...okay-let's-just-say-it, freaky self. But kudos to him for accompanying her to & honoring the good cause. He's there for the orphans, you know.




Finally, ya'll, am I like the only person sick of the tabs showing off this pic of the skinn(ier) Brit? Okay, yes, great, she's getting thin again, but HELLO - she's still got the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder action going on...and God, SOMEONE hire that girl a stylist. What kind of kid wants their mom walking around looking like a cheap Vegas call girl in that leopard print shirt? For reals. Or at least give her a feather boa to accessorize.

Madonna

so wow...ya'll, the pictures speak for themselves. Last night was just pure fucking joy (except for the 5 minutes when I thought I would get myself killed at Misshapes when Madonna walked in-it was complete mass hysteria - no joke - a war zone couldn't have been more dangerously psycho). So...Misshapes was raw and the Roxy was real in the old-school way. So surreal to look out on all the disco balls, the fabulous Roxy boys, and Madonna onstage dancing like it was 1983. The first pix are Madge with Stuart at Misshapes (aka the Tinderbox), the second group are from Le Roxy. God, I love that woman...






JenVin Lovin' UPDATE

A source tells KettyKet that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston were spotted at Gibson's Steakhouse in Chicago LAST NIGHT openly smooching, holding hands, flirting (duh), AND busted smoking (in the non-smoking section no less). After the year she's had, we can forgive Jen that little sin, can't we?

Laguna Beach...Only Partly Fake (whew)

For those of you who haven't forgotten me or are just here because of the Lindsay Lohan photos or who googled "Laguna Beach," my favorite Laguna Beach whore, Adam, sent an update on what's been going on with that show...which...if I've been too busy/disillusioned to post on my blog, you can bet I haven't really been watching all season...but nevertheless, I give you LB gossip - for the kids....

Courtney and I had dinner with one of the "writers" of MTV's Laguna Beach last night. He said that the show is real but they
definitely set up situations. Big surprise.

As most of you remember last week the gang went to Cabo. I know that some of us thought it was weird that everyone was ignoring Jessica and hanging with Alex M. Here is some background. Before Cabo they showed Jessica meeting Jason at the golf course. They hung out all day and later that night they went to a party at Talan's house. Talan was trying to pull a fast one and not invite the MTV producers to the
party. At the party (while Jason is supposedly still dating Alex M) one of Alex M's friends walked in on Jessica giving Jason h**d in the bathroom. The friend that walked in immed iately called Alex M and tell her. Alex M and Taylor jump into Taylor's car to go kick Jessica's ass but get pulled over by the cops. Instead of playing it cool Taylor throws the fake id she has in her wallet into the back seat.

The cops get suspicious and ask her what it was, do a search of the car, find the fake id, interrogate Alex M and get her to admit she has a fake id too. Cuff both of them and take them down to the station whereMTV has to bail them out. So in one night Alex M found out that her boyfriend is a cheater and gets arrested.
The next day Kristen and her sidekick (I think t hat her name is Alex too?) anyway, they ask Jessica if she hooked with Jason and she totally denies everything. They later find out that she lied and that's why they are upset with her in Cabo.

LC and Jason are currently f'ing. Apparently Jason is a total moron (another big surprise) but he gets any girl super sprung. He failed out of senior year of high school and is not working.

LC and Kristin are not enemies but also not bff. They are both trying to become famous so they are hanging in LA.

Deter is a camera whore. Anytime the producers put together a scene he tries to tag along to get face time.

MTV is hated around Laguna Beach. People that are not on the show are always throwing beer cans and stuff at the cameras.

MTV is currently are working on a spin off for next season with different characters.

Kristin is attending USC but has not rushed.