Cruise Contracts?

Okay, first of all, this woman, Sofia Vergara, allegedly Tom Cruise's new favorite gal pal/shopping buddy/girlfriend, is nowhere near the same league as Nicole Kidman, or even Penelope Cruz. The acid-washed 80's jeans. The uh-uh you didn't Uggs. What is Tom thinking? I know he thinks he needs a woman on his arm to increase his appeal, but come on, now man. You can do better. Nicole's laughing - revenge is sweet.

Second of all, I'm really quite curious how much Tom pays these women to be with him, or what sort of arrangement they come to? Seriously - I want to know. Do they draw up contracts? Do the women go through an intense vetting process? Do they send in headshots? I mean, he doesn't really have to pay them because they supposedly reap the benefits of being Tom's chosen arm candy, but honestly, what are the negotiations for the title of Tom Cruise's bitch? Am I supposed to actually believe the report in InTouch this week that a paparazzo surreptitiously snapped the pair at an all-night diner at 3:30am? C"mon now, don't try that with me. You and I both know that the publicist set up that shot - I mean, Tom hasn't had a girlfriend in a year and Penelope's totally scooped him by hooking up with Mc-Conna-hottie. He needs that picture. It reminds us, his adoring public, that Tom Cruis does not like men. He likes girls and he especially likes picking them up at parties and taking them out on a high-class 4am dinner/breakfast date.

If anyone has info on Tom Cruise secret girlfriend contract negotiations, let me know- it will ease my troubled mind. Sadly, this is a topic that's sporadically held my attention since he and Penelope got together at least 4 years ago.